Fantasy Zone Fryday- Dr. Deficit Admits to Defeat, Fiat Printing Plan Has Failed; Five Simple Steps to Getting Things Turned Around; DOW Priced in Gold Shows an 11 Year Bear Market, No Bull Here; Inflation Re-examined as Food Prices Skyrocket; Weather Plays Huge Part in Economy; Greece In Upset, More Protests Coming; Girl in China Sells Her Virginity For iPhone4; Much More

Update 1: Super bullish news for "the markets" - Ft. Calhoun nuke plant now 3 feet from 500-year flood levels. We're 100% Bernanke certain that they've got everything under control.

Update 2: We told you so - Residents 40km from Fukushima are already measured with 3 mSv of radiation. It's only going to get worse from here.

Update 3: Why on earth would they have a radiation release map for the Ft. Calhoun all ready to go? Does someone have a crystal ball? This is bizarre.

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Two days ago, Dr. Deficit finally admitted to defeat not understanding why his Harvard endorsed fiat printing plan was not working. "We don't have a precise read on why this slower pace of growth is persisting," he said. In Fed speak, that means, "we're clueless why there is no recovery." More interesting was his comment that this "soft patch" was not as "transitory" as they first thought. Act surprised, if you can.

As we have explained in great detail, the bearer of a Harvard PhD usually does not have the capacity to think on his own. There is an inverse correlation to the higher degree one possesses to their ability to use common sense. Those who have been indoctrinated by poison Ivy League academia, are all cut from the same cookie cutter mold - which can be especially problematic in the real world, as life and all that it encompasses is dynamic and changing. The book, "Print Your Way To Wealth," which happens to be required reading for all poison Ivy League students, is obviously outmoded. Worse, we think Dr. Deficit was not only a prodigy of the original authors, he became a co-author of the updated 2008 edition of the book - just in time for the new round of grads with PhD's to come online.

Therefore, we highly recommend that all those who read that book please clear their minds and start fresh with some very basic information that is obviously no longer taught in poison Ivy League schools, but obviously is still appreciated in Europe. We present to you a simple 5 step process that would right the wrongs of the bad good Doctor.

1) During the worst economic depression recession the world has ever seen, the effective tax rate of the top 10% of the wealthiest was only 17% tax. Cutting taxes for the rich, which is somehow supposed to stimulate the economy as we were taught in finishing school, is never a good move when the nation is deep in debt and needs revenues more than ever. One thing about the wealthy is they can never have enough money. Which means that money goes nowhere but their pockets.

2) Jobs in this country have vanished (as can been seen by the 23% real unemployment rate). Nearly all manufacturing is done offshore. Nearly all tech support, computer programming and IT has been also exported offshore. We are left with hamburger flippers and Home Depot clerks. Servicing one another does not make for a strong economy. Bring the manufacturing jobs back. Penalize all corporations that manufacture  offshore. Increase their tax rates and especially increase taxes on executive stock options to 80%.

3)  We need clean, renewable and affordable energy and a strong manufacturing base that supports that. All new clean energy projects should be engineered and built here in the U.S. with skilled American workers. Find new ways to make coal cleaner while we make the transition over to renewable energy, and in order to keep the price of electricity low.

4) Invest in education. Budget cuts to education is the worst sacrifice anyone can make. Education is key to the success and future of a strong economy. Education empowers and benefits all. College these days is simply, not worth the expense. Vocational schools today provide better skills that will be needed to build a new economy.

5) ZIRP interest rates at zero hurt savers, and encourages reckless spending and debt. And debt is never good for the people - only the banksters benefit from more debt and that is why they love you to have more and more.

Of course, these are just a few of the very basic, fundamental steps that should have been implemented long ago. Other steps include changing the accounting rules for big corporations that allow them to offshore their profits, and ending once and for all "Too Big To Fail." Once anything becomes "Too Big To Fail," it's already too dangerous. Further, "creative accounting" should never be tolerated.

The point here is, we never hear anything from Dr. Deficit and Co. about any such measures. Instead all we hear is how they are keeping inflation low (which is not even close to low - try 11% or more) and will implement more POMO (aka, more money printing) and how good of a job they are doing, and that everything will get better tomorrow.

Which reminds us of the "perpetual bonds" that Greece issued a few months ago. They are called "perpetual bonds" because they usually mature in 50-100 years (a lot can happen in 50-100 years, making them worthless) and usually, the current payments are made with the issuance of yet more bonds, in an endless cycle. Sort of like the handouts bailouts Greece is getting.

Speaking of handouts money printing, let's be clear here - just because the money is not actually printed on physical paper does not mean that they are not "printing" as we have highlighted many times here. "Printing" comes in many forms. Their favorite method is digital dollars in the form of zeros; soon, zeros will be the only thing they have.

We can already see the real results of fiat printing when looking at the DOW index priced in gold. In all reality, the bull... bullish market you think you have experienced in your stock portfolio is merely an illusion as the DOW priced in gold has been in a bear market for the past 11 years. The jokes on you.

With all of the drama being pumped out of the MSM about Weiner's weiner or Arnold's love child or Justin Bieber's new cologne, most sheeple forgot to realize or take notice that inflation is all around us. Coffee has jumped 40% in the past year alone. Sugar is up 70%. And meats? Forgetaboutit! Some who see the real non-manipulated data are saying the real plague is inflation. Others, like Dr. Deficit are still saying, "inflation? what inflation..." and cut scene.

And here's a piece of news that should wake up those with a PhD in BS - weather plays a huge part in the economy of the U.S. (Well, well, well. Where have we said that before?) Which is why we here at Fiat's Fire pay attention to what the earth is doing. If the earth's weather was stable everyday and presented no major weather related threats, the global economy would still be a disaster. Just look at the comedy show in Greece where the weather is stable. Now, insert the most unpredictable and powerful variable called "weather," and a whole new dimension in global financial forecasting emerges. And to the talking heads on CNBS that said Fukushima was a "bullish event," we suggest you take an early retirement.

Finally, we report the continued moral breakdown of society (a key symptom and consequence of the gangrened world in which we live) and present to you this story from China where a young girl is offering her virginity to anyone who will buy her an iPhone4. We offer her the same advice as we did to the boy in China who sold his kidney for an iPad2 - wake up from your consumerism induced coma before it is too late. Contrary to what big business wants you to believe, happiness in life does not result from the things one possesses.