Whaddayaknow Wednesday- "We Don't Need No Stinkin' Bailout" Portugal Begs, Gets $115 Billion Bailout; Finland Has Last Word On Bailout For Portugal; Oil Prices Fall On Decreased Demand; Japanese Production Decimated 15% In March Alone; Toyota, Honda Both Report 62% Decline; Radiation Found In Shipping Containers In Belgium That Were Shipped March 16th; Fukuwhat?; Much More

It feels good to be right, so today, we will begin with news from the EU, where it is being buried by the main stream media reported that Portugal has been handed a $115 Billion bailout. Well, whaddayaknow?! Of course, they have said for over two months that they Do. Not. Need. A. Bailout. All the while, we have been saying for exactly two months that Portugal will indeed be the very next PIIG to get a bailout. Et voila. 

Hu Who do you believe? According to an article today in Forbes, you can't believe these talking heads. In fact, the Prime Minister of Luxembourg, Jean-Claude Juncker was quoted as saying, "When it becomes serious, you have to lie." Really now? Gosh! And we believed every word you spoke, like we believed every word about Fukushima... not.

Make sure you read through that article and see how apropos it is to just about everything you are being fed. It's a tell all article, but the drama about Portugal's illegal handout bailout is just getting started. The juiciest parts come from reading through the bailout agreement, like the part where insolvent Greece and Ireland will help fund this bailout (with Hu's who's money?). Ironically, Greece is weeks, if not days away from "restructuring" their own debt so how exactly is this supposed to work? What a circus. Perhaps Mr. Trichet's real name is Barnum or Bailey.

However, we don't think the British citizens will be laughing too hard at the theatrics, because they have been sucked into this giant ponzi scheme circle-jerk bailout by providing the second largest amount of the bailout. Don't think you'll ever see that money again, either. Did we mention what percentage the banksters will be getting? Forgetaboutit. You'd rather not know. Keep your little sheeple mind focused on Osama Bin Dead For Nine Times Laden's death. The good news is, Finland. Yes, good cold Finland has the final say and if their demands aren't met, this bailout won't be so easy to access. We'll see how this plays out by the 13th.

Speaking of Friday the 13th, remember how you heard from the experts on CNBS that the Fukushima catastrophe would somehow be positive for the global economy? Remember that? Well Honda Motors is reporting along with Toyota Motors that their production is down 62% in March. Must be the economic recovery. Another green shoot, Dr. Deficit. We can't wait to see this quarter's results like the radiation readings of a cargo container that just arrived in Belgium showing radioactive cesium 137. Guess when that container was shipped from Japan? The 16th of March. As you know, things have only gotten better since then. In fact, according to TEPCO and the Japanese gov't, Fukushima is back up and producing electricity... or not.

Don't worry about the radiation encircling the globe, entering food and water sources and being detected in soil samples. The EPA won't be monitoring radiation any longer because levels are decreasing. Remember that article in Forbes? Now is a good time to reread it.

With oil demand plunging due to an ongoing economic depression  all of the economic growth we see, it's no wonder jobs are back.

Updates

Update 1: What's another $2 Trillion? Nothing the click of a computer button can't fix. The Treasury is requesting the debt limit be upped by $2 Trillion so they can have enough funding through December 2012. Just in time for the Mayan calendar to end. 

Update 2: Osama Bin Dead Long Time Laden. We've got the confirmation here.